Oops but Hooray!

I went a little crazy today. Aside from spending funds we don't have... I BOUGHT A BAG OF MY VERY FAVORITE CHIPS. Sinful I know.  I had one, okay, two... alright..... several more I will not lie. I was doing a clinical test here. And in the end... I DIDN'T like them! I didn't like them. It was the same thing as the German chocolate cake. Damn. Very exciting.

I like the way I eat! Imagine. I am baffled too. How does this happen. As I was saying to Mel it took me a year plus of complaining and whining to jump on board to Ash's ways, but here I am 'hooked'. (BTW... I've done better in self control than Ash! Tehee! Not that anyone's keeping track).

There is disappointment. I do have fond memories of my bags of chips, chocolate bars and what not but like how memories work, they stay with you and you live them when you need to. AND I am making new memories. I am weird I know.

Ash said once how things tasted better, that red pepper was like candy and that crackers tasted like cardboard.... I rolled my eyes and called him a weirdo in my head (though he did read my mind). BUT IT'S FLIPPIN' true! Celery even tastes yummy to me. (Another tasty thing... yams or sweet potatoes with GARLIC)

Anyway, it hasn't been all glorious. I do have some tummy issues. Not sure if it's the dairy or wrong mix of veg and protein. Being a lousy eater to begin with... things don't change over night.

Is it possible it took this long for the real effects of withdrawal to come out? I've been dopey too, like the onset of a stone or drunk. (so I have heard) Yet the sensation seemed end once I ate. Hmmm. Hunger.

Anyway...excited about the chips. Oh I had some ice cream too. One or two tablespoons. That was enough. I love these testings! It was some tasty but I didn't have the urge to indulge further. Now that is trippy!

OH another things... bananas frozen taste like ice cream. Thanks Deb!

Here's to slippin'!

Humbled

Three things humble me and perhaps women in general...
PMS
my children
and a mirror.


At this time it's PMS.

Deep breath. Pout.
Usually a bag of chip, a pop and maybe a chocolate bar would appease the blues. While it's tempting to indulge, I will fight it to see what happens. Curiosity can be a grand and powerful force.

May the force be with me!

Comments

I'd love to hear from you... good and bad.

Inches

On September 26th, I bravely took a tape measure and delicatley wrapped it around various parts of my unprimal body.

Today for some reason, I remembered that I did it.
SOOOOOOOOO, I eagerly, this time, measured the various body parts. (Slight problem... not certain I got the exact spots as before but...)

GUESS WHAT???

I lost some inches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy F.

If my back wasn't achey, I'd be doing a primal grunting dance! Pounds are nice by all means but inches... INCHES.

I lost a half inch on my upper cottagey thighs, an inch above my flabby knees, was surprised about the half inch of my waist, I thought it would be more. I am PMSing so..., hips- half an inch, my calves and biceps haven't changed really, if anything, they went up a bit.

Accuracy is iffy but it seems reasonable. I tried to write down where I measured this time for other check ups!

Pretty cool how the body expands and retracts. PREGNANCY!

Speaking of PMS... I was hoping this way of eating would balance my mood swings. Not so sure if it has but maybe they are just less severe now. This time around, I am craving chocolate and have indulged more than before on the 70% chocolate. Must watch that.  I hope it improves. This is one of the reason's I wanted to eat this way. The emotional roller coaster I was strapped to was making me dizzy!

Rediscovered almond butter. OMG, treat! It's actually sweetish! Roasting does wonderful things to food. Also, the carrot I ate today was rather too sweet. How can that be!? LOL! I should just sit down and eat a Wunderbar to see how that goes.

Did I share that I had a beer, part of a beer, this weekend? YUK. A sad day in my drunken part of my mind. Mind you it wasn't super cold and it was chilly out. Perhaps other elements needed to be there or ... my body simply isn't able to drink anymore! Can this be? After um 21 year drinking career.. hiatus during pregnancies. Imagine. Perhaps alcoholics should turn primal. Primal therapy!?!

Well I was going to simply brag about the inches but I had other things on my mind apparently.

Yum!

Reduced HOMEMADE chicken stock,

reduced cream,

tarragon

 and butter.

Enough said.

Didn't Explode

Today I witnessed some endearing long time friendships. Jessica's friends were delightful. The affection and adoration these woman have for one another was wonderful to witness and feel! Friendships where words aren't always needed and a smile means a million words. I felt the love.

Well, while I stared down a HOMEMADE oatmeal chocolate chip cookie and some yummy looking cupcakes, I succumbed to some sushi. AND I didn't explode. I didn't get shot down. Not sure what I was expecting to happen if I 'cheated' but nothing happened. LOL! I do feel a bit bloated but...

I discovered that grape tomatoes and blue cheese are meant for each other. BTW, I resisted crackers too.

For me, eating is a comfort. While I enjoyed myself at Jess's baby shower, I didn't know a lot of people and if I did, it was superficial. So I was forced into the pleasantries of what do you do, where do you live, how do you know Jess, blah blah blah... Sorry did I type that out?! LOL! While I was either forcing myself to chat or sitting back taking it all in, I noticed when I was very uncomfortable with the silence or conversation, I leaned toward the cheese in front of me. Something to do to fill the void. What's up with that? Am I alone on this? I didn't realize that food was attached in that way for me. It busies you. Diverts nerves.

What did I do once I realized this... I forced myself to sit there and simply observe and listen to all that was going on. Telling myself, it's okay to be sitting amongst these people AND NOT talk. Or if in a conversation, ride through the uncomfortable silences with a smile, no a mouthful of food. With the help of some deep breaths and some toe taps, a wonderful wave of calmness came over me. This time I managed to divert myself from some comfort eating. One down. Now to repeat.

That is that. Did I mention I loved the sushi.

LBS.

Another 4 pounds melted away! That would be a total of 16 pounds. OH babe! Not sure if our bank account can handle a new wardrobe! Ha, no need for that until maybe THE NEW YEAR!

Ideally, I'd like to lose 30 pounds. So I am half way there. Hmm. That sounds encouraging.

I have successfully NOT eaten while stressed. Okay, that is a wee lie. I did indulge in bigger chunks of chocolate (70%). But overall, pat on the back. Usually a bag of chip, pop and chocolate bar would settle me down just fine. A pinch proud. Every challenge is an opportunity to adjust... what's that saying?

Still struggling with those damn lunches. WHINER. I made a yum one this week (a repeat actually) which fed me for two days. Grilled veg and chicken with bruschetta goat cheese. I found with a solid amount of protein for lunch, I am good to go. No headaches, no hunger and some energy.

All fine and dandy if you have time to play. I really need to be on top of the prep. Convienent foods are call that for a reason but they suck for me. I need fast protein grub. Ash claims fat does it for him. I guess I could chew on a frozen stick of butter.

Energy is peeking out in bits. I really want to feel the rush man! When will it kick in! Uh, maybe if I exercised a bit, that would help it emerge? Duh. It's the rain. It's the cold. I am tired. JUST DO IT BIATCH!

My cold is gone. VITAMIN D is a wonder vitamin! I swear it wards it off or lessens the symptoms... they need to be mixed with a fat or something... we take it with fish tablets. For the most part this pairing helped us NOT get too sick or sick at all last fall/winter season. It'll be interesting to see if it happens again this year. True test.

Tomorrow I will have a social eating challenge. A baby shower. First off, I will only know maybe 2 people... a bit stressful for me and two... food. I will politely pick. I am amazed at my disinterest or lack of yearning for what I 'cannot' have. It's just not there. I see others eating it, I KNOW it's tasty but I don't drool or have mental words say I WANT I WANT... what's up with that? I know it's a great thing but it's SO not my normal reaction.

Anyway, I am rambling... Hence... THE RAMBLER.

Goal... 1. exercise~ do the stairs, weights and.... one walk, rain or shine... GET OUT THERE!
2. Find protein substitutes that are easy peasy to get at and make

GO!

Let There Be Cake

I did it.

I waited for Ash to get home to share the moment.

I carefully unwrapped the cake, looked at it, pondering my wee venture and then took a small forkful.

The texture was more pleasing than the taste. While it was tasty (it's my mom's cake for crying out loud!), I didn't like it. Nonetheless, there was a strong pull to have another forkful JUST to be sure. I was disappointed and happy with how I felt.

It was way too sweet.

yes, sarah short macdougall said this! I too am shocked!

Had I eaten the whole kit and kaboodle, I think I'd have gone into a shock.

And you know what I did next!?

 Sacrilege really...

 I threw it out! OMG! I threw it out.

Oh my.

I hope the cake gods don't strike me down.

NEVER have I thrown out perfectly good cake, chocolate or what not!

At first a sickening feeling over came me but the thrill of CHOSING not to eat more took over with Waahooooo.

 And a click of the camera to document my sacrilege!

Should I have kept it for someone else? How thoughtless of me. ha ha ha.

Well... I am pleased and confused and happy and confused and um confused.

Haha.

Pictorially:

Unwrapped, waiting

Diggin' in

Oh the anticipation!

In it goes and...

Ah well, not as good as it would have been 30 days ago!

In the garbage, sorry for the rest of the garbage

the end.

Last Day

IT IS OVER!

What? Huh?

so soon?

Done.

Wham bam thank you mama!

Now where is that german chocolate cake in the deep freeze!?

Oh there you are!

Thawing.

BUTTTTT will I eat it?

 I am curious to see how it tastes.

Sugar rush?

I'll probably chicken out.

Pandora's box needs to open, stay shut!!!

Do I go and buy a spread of goodies?

Wonderbar,  beer and Lime & Pepper chips?

I don't see the need to indulge.

 Especially when I want 10 more pounds off.

 Thirty days wasn't long enough.

Bring it ON!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyone care to laugh at join me?

Watch me go.

And look forward to the

challenges of CHRISTMAS?!?!!?!

Insanity?

Yes, AGAIN~

I slammed into a wall. Wiped out... naps. body feels super heavy. lethargic. atrophy? LOL! Zapped. It started yesterday. I figured it was need to catch up on sleep but the lethargic and dead weight today made me think it something else. I am wondering if it's taken THIS long for things to happen. The things I thought that would happen at the beginning of this challenge! Whoa. Not fun.

To make matters 'worse', it's a long weekend WITH beautiful weather. And all I feel like doing is sleeping or laying down to stare at the ceiling. It's trippy!

Maybe the hair dye went a few layer too deep?? Turkey drug did me in?

Whatever it is... totally drained. An odd feeling for miss go all the time.

FOUR more days or another round?

While I have only 4 days left of my 30 day challenge, I think I'll make it 60. I don't feel I've accomplished enough. Yes, I've lost 10 pounds but I am still turning to food for comfort. Just better food I guess. I'd like to turn that comfort food gives me to something else. Exercise, sewing, SOMETHING.
I still want to improve my lunches and snacks. Cheese is starting to disagree with me. Sigh.

Cope... at Carter's birthday party I brought a piece of chocolate and roasted almonds for my cake. Did the job. I ate only the topping of the pizza. Felt impolite but ah well.

Planning... with everything planning always makes an event go over without a hitch or less hitches. So that's what I need to do with food.

I always knew food was a powerful force but with my changes, it showed me HOW intertwined food is in my life. Every outing... food. IF no food, thought of food. Emotional eating. Socializing. What do you do.. go for coffee and a treat, dinner, lunch.... and if you are out, you don't just want boring fare, you want something gooey and good or soemthing you don't normally have.. you are out, it's a treat. Perhaps this is just me. To go for a piece of broccoli or pineapple just doesn't MENTALLY cut it. It comes down to MINDSET.

So I guess the next 30 days will be mindset changing.

Though I do want to have some processed foods to see how they taste. NOT because my challenge is over, but to see how my taste buds have changed. I know already how something have changed, an apple and red pepper are very sweet and sometimes I cannot eat a whole apple.

Must go... I've irritated my back and sitting is aggravating it. Another challenge....strengthen my core!!!!!!!!!!

More than Half Way!

Down 10! I hit a rock again... so I jumped on the scale. And to my delight, the number was SMALLER. Wahoooo!

All that excitement shared, I still wait for the surge of energy. I still am not getting the proper sleep so...

I really need to get on the exercise wagon. Energy create energy? Perhaps I can start by running up and down the stairs! It's all great to shed the pounds but I'd like to be firm. First things first? Or together...

Anyway, glad to have another push forward!

Success

Tonight I went out. Whahoo.

There were all kinds of tasty treats spread in front of me. I struggled a bit with the food but it was the wanting a drink that was harder. I stuck to water and lime. Need a push but... I DID IT!!! It silly but a great sense of pride sits on my shoulder!

It was nice to sit there and not eat because it was in front of me. And then later feel yukky. Mind you I did have the artichoke dip and it's not agreeing with me. BUT had I eaten the chips ON TOP of the dip, I might have felt worse?? Hard to say. I'd LIKE to think I would.

The neatest thing was not feeling like I was missing out. I use to eat a ton when I was out becasue it was a social occasion or when will I eat like this again. But it seemed food and treats were everywhere all the time. SO no valve. Perhaps I'll learn to use that valve after the challenge or perhaps it will come naturally. It's like buying inexpensive things, thinking oh that's not much, yet it all adds up to a bigger bill.

Anyway, feel good about sticking to my guns. Big step for Miss Short!