Damn

Halloween and PMS.

I didn't eat it all but had WAY more than I should/could/would.......

I already feel the hangover!

 And I am a big girl!

 How does this affect/effect? our childrens' little bodies?

I guess you can tell I am still struggling in finding assistance for my monthly overwhelming urges to eat CRAP! The rest of the month, NOTHING. One week prior to ., MAYHEM.

MAYHEM! And this time, HALLOWEEN? I mean the temptation is RIGHT FLIPPIN' IN FRONT OF ME!!!!!!!

Ugh. Sorry body!

xx

0

Say NO to Booze

Oh my!

 While I had a blast pretending I was in my 20's, my body is definitely 40! A cleanish body at that. It started with Rickard's, gin then a couple shooters. Mixing is never good and the sweetness in the shooters was a big mistake.

 My body is still trying to purge the dirt!

Don't swing a club and drink.

PMS Rears It's Ugly Head

Will power- zilch

Crankies- yup

Crampies- ugh

Tolerance... Patience- what's that.

.

Well Paleo hasn't conquered PMS for me. Though the above might be even worse? Nah. Plain and simple... BITCH for 3 or so days. Cruelty. Yet there is another side of me that becomes extremely sentimental and filled with overwhelming gratitude for others. Cruel too! The duality. Mind numbing really.

Recently, chips and Cheetos. I am good about staying clear of sugar.

Bonus.

But chips. MMMMMMMMM!

Though the sugar craving does surface. Thank goodness for 85% chocolate. Lindt, I heart you.

Ah well... keep on trekking!

Energy levels have been incredible. I am not getting proper sleep but over all I still can function well. Okay, my bitchies flare up a smidgen but the energy levels have been intriguing.

 I am not getting hungry anymore. I went through a starvation period. Nothing would satiate me. No amount of fat or food! It was rather annoying. I decide to just not eat! A wee fast is probably a better way to put it... cured. Weird.

I am officially back to the weight I was before I fell off the boulder. I feel light on me feet, not so jiggly and most clothing fits loosely. Some too loose but what EVER. I was never a fashion queen.

Off to bed. Thank you caveman. (see sentimental crap)

Texas Chili Rub

This altered from a recipe from How To Grill by Steven Raichlen (a second hand store purchase...)

Makes about 1 cup

2 tablespoons (T) black pepper
1T cumin
2 teaspoons (t) coriander
1 T yellow mustard seeds
1/4 cup (c) coarse salt
1/4 c chili powder
2T paprika
1 T garlic powder
1 T onion powder
1 T dried oregano

Mix together. Put in a air tight container.

Ready to use it? I mix desired amount in olive oil to make a paste. Then mix it with meat. I really like it on fast fry pork and pork chops. It's okay with beef but if you have a steak why would you want to put anything on that.

I'd love feed back!

Adjusting

Wow, I've been doing darn good this past month! And it's paying off. Phew. I am slimming down. Some bulging spots are shrinking. Pants are baggier. Belly isn't as bloated. Energy levels are good considering I've had that lousy bout of PMS and now I am sick. So that's great.

Merby is getting me out for walks. They are short and 'slow'. But it feels great. We'll be grand walking buddies. Win win.

Am in need of some paleo meals and snacks. I find I am not satiated. Perhaps you hit a point where something else is needed. It's been a good long time, with my lapses. And this past month has been pretty pure.

Off to research!

Stocks and Rubs

In my domestication... I am making stocks and meat rubs. Wow, two simple (ish) product diversify and pop a meal! I am very excited.

I make my stock in a crock pot. Then I don't have to fiddle and watch over a boiling pot! I brown the bones and veg in the oven, then dump it in the crock, add cold water... voila! The next afternoon, I strain and cool it. Once cooled I'll either put it in ice cube trays or containers. I keep some in the fridge for quick access and use. But the cubes are great, grab a few and cook. Creates a tasty, moist product and sometimes a base for a sauce! The herbs on the deck are a delight too! I feel spoiled. I guess I can finally thank the Royal York and all the other cooking places for the training!

Rubs... on the note of my culinary background... I turned my nose up at dried herbs and spices to some degree. Fresh is best! Well I made one mix, and now I am hooked and in search of MORE! I made a delicious one last night for the pork ribs. If anyone is interested I can post some recipes for the rubs. And if anyone has some to share, PLEASE do!

Bon Appetite!

It's Raining, It's Pouring

and I wish I was snoring.

We adopted a chocolate lab puppy Friday night. Sleep has been interrupted! My oh my! Flashbacks from Em and Wy baby days! However, my body isn't primed this time around! And I am much older! LOL! All in in all, things are great.

All I want to eat is meat and veg sprinkled with fruit. One fruit in particular... CANTALOUPE! For years, and I mean YEARS, my whole life YEARS, I've despised the flora taste of it. This week Em and I decided to squeeze some lime on a piece. OMG! Divine! And I even enjoy it solo! I've also made a salsa with it; lime, cilantro and melon, served with pork.

I don't find chicken to be filling. I'll make myself a breast for lunch with veg or something and it's as if I didn't eat. Ash says it's because there's not much fat. I've moved to fast fry pork but it's a lot of work. I need to figure out how to have ready made or easily ready lunches. I feel as though I am glued to the kitchen and doing fing dishes. Domestication is lower stress but hum drum at time.

I've almost dropped the weight I gained since April. I feel lighter! LOL! Clothes are feeling better again. If only I could get myself out for walks! Speed walks. We do walk with the kids and I do my parcour but with my two week pms, energy was lost. It really wiped me out this time, and for two friggin' weeks. Hormonal imbalance or re balancing? With eating better, is my body trying to find it's rhythm. In time, in time.

Just checking in.

Back in Loin

After three weeks, my body is back to 'normal'. It was abused! Beer, ice cream, chips and freezer jam every day for 10 days. As much as it was nice to have the freedom, so to speak, to eat as I pleased, I didn't feel good! Lethargic and bloated would be the words to describe my existence!

Now I am dealing with a hormonal imbalance though. Craving veggies and MEAT. Meeeaaatttt!

I will have time to eat properly and prepare good meals for a while. Hooray.

Still struggling with the exercise. This hormone thang has interfered a bit. Sluggish. Damn hormones.

I went out wiht my girlfriends the other night and they all ordered food, I didn't feel like eating! My dinner filled me. I wasn't even tempted and some of it smelled gooood. Neat for me.

Anyway, YAWN! But for me, hooray. Paleo is for me, for me. Paleo is for me.

Ugh!

my oh my.

i am dragging my fing feet on this.

i cannot find the drive to get back on the fing boulder.

this is NOT to say I've reverted to my ol' ways completely but

the struggle. Oh THE STRUGGLE!

i could find all kinds of excuses, i think. 

but what's the point to that.

Grr.

Grr.

Ugh.

Pout..

Sigh.

Pulling the bone out of my frazzled hair.

On a brighter more pleasant note... yes there is one.

I sprinted today. If you saw me you'd probably say

um, that was a sprint?

But for this ol' girl, it was.

and let me tell you..............

IT FELT FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hopefully tomorrow will be kind to me.

i am not one for muscle pain.

While I am terrible disappointed in my lack of drive,

it is what it is.

it doesn't mean stop.

it means trudge on

you will

get

 there.

Smiles.

Chinese

Mmmm but tsk tsk tsk!

S...L...O...W

Well it's been WHAT a WEEK? Withdrawal, done. Headaches and stomach blahs. At least they didn't last a couple weeks like before! A bonus!
I didn't Griner a couple times, walking. Felt good but didn't FEEL it. I'd like to try at least one sprint but am fearful of doing damage! Then where will I be?

This week I shall get on the bandwagon for floor work and weights. When I did weights the last time, my shoulder issue flared. Not sure if it was the reps or somethings else but PAIN! Ash knows of my goals, so he better not complain when I say... I am off for a walk.

Yesterday... I wore a bathing suit. Mind you it was surfing short (too tight but fit... a medium!) and a bikini top, I was exposed. Liberating. I swam and played, good for the soul. I did swim to the rope and back twice. Boy do I love swimming. I wish the public pool didn't have chlorine! And germs, and other people and and and! LOL!

I have 25 days to get into shape. While I may not be THERE by August 6th, I certainly will have a solid base. Ah too feel strong and agile!

I remember a time in my life where I swam one day and did weights the other. I loved the routine and how I felt. Activities were effortless. I floated up stairs! I want that feeling again. Unfortunately my back holds me back. Ha. Or I allow it too. Fear I guess it would be. Also having two kids doesn't allow me to have that part time job of getting into shape. I believe the key back then was it was something to do, not to get into shape. I was running solo here in BC for the summer. No real friends, no commitments except work.

As for eating... I haven't been strict like last time. Just no more treats. I should cut back on the chocolate but that's normal for me. When other things go, I go over the moon with what I 'can' until I find balance. It's lovely learning about yourself. Comfort and ease comes with it. Not that frantic feeling of what the hell is up. I know. The power of the KNOW.

I have had a bit of rice with certain dishes. Potatoes once. Oh and the Bellini and appies. Which made me feel instantly BLAH. And frankly, the appies didn't even taste good going down. I kept eating some hoping the yukky factor would subside with each bite. Didn't work. Thank goodness.

Feeling good about the start but it feels slow in results. Ha. Instant gratification generation!

Off to eat a green veg!

Oh BABE!

While I don't feel good, mentally oh babe!
Two walks.
The first one was sadly painful, but the second one... oh babe!

Need to eat more protein. Feeling low on the energy.

Try this.... whipping cream (unwhipped), salted almonds and coconut blended to crumbs, mini chocolate chips (wee cheat) and STRAWBERRIES. Oh babe!!!!!!!!

Smiles.

Back to the Start

Well after falling off the Paleo boulder for longer than I care to share...  I am crawling back on.

THIRTY DAYS starts over. I anticipate some discomforts, sigh. But I NOW know what to expect from my hard work.  Energy. Stability. Better complexion. Sleeping improvements. Ah!

In addition to the eating changes, I will do exercise as well. I want to be stronger and less flabby. It was all fine and dandy to lose that weight but the leftover mass h
                      u
                         n
                           g there like a ?? I've come up empty. Damn.

I will be trim and fit by

August 5, 2010.

Off to get my loin cloth back on. Where is my club? Bone for my hair?

Grunt. Grunt.

Here I thought...

...working would help me eat less and better. Meals would be planned, lunches made.... I didn't factor in the exhaustion element. Too tired to be on the ball for everything. What goes to the wayside? Eating. Which brings me back to eating right and exercising is a part time job.

What has suffered? My mood. While I haven't gained any weight or anything, I am on hellish carb roller coaster. Those damn snickerdoodles!! LOL!

Ah well... I tend to over do it and then fall off ... ending with some sort of balance.

I still feel the paleo way of eating is best for me. I am balanced and feel good when right on. But the reality of time and work and play and what not, interferes sometimes. I have to say... I don't pig out like I use to or give into every whim. In the past, I would have.

On my way...

Very Bad

Since starting work, things have gone to shit. Eating, the house, my mental state, my energy.. you name it, it's askew! Ugh. Since this is a blog about food, I'll stick to that.

While I haven't been totally bad, I have been indulging more. Chocolate, chips, cookies and the such.

Those who follow Paleo and exercise are either amazing with time management or something I will be polite and not say. IF anyone has any tips, share. Eating right and exercising regularily seems to be a part time job.

I'll get back on track and am aware of my tsk tsking.

Latest.. kebobs. Joanne made some delicious one! They would fit the bill. Cheese and almonds.

Okay.. lame post but it's all been lame lately!

Wish me luck to get back on a better track!

Bacon Explosion and Fennel Gratin

Ground Beef wrapped in a weave of BACON!!!!!!

I found this on a Paleo Blog, Son of Grok. But this is MY version.

It's suppose to have bacon within the ground beef as well but mine does not. before

after

Yummy goodness. In the beef, I put onion, garlic, green pepper, mushrooms and love.

Fennel Gratin- This came from an old chef friend, Ken Harper. Another YUM!

Fennel Gratin

2 large fennel bulbs cleaned and sliced into wedges
1 1/2 cups whipping cream
1/2 cup grated parmigiano reggiano cheese
2 tbsp ground roasted hazelnuts
1/4 tsp grated nutmeg
2 tbsp unsalted butter
Salt & pepper

Blanch fennel in simmering salted water for 5 minutes
Place in baking dish and cover with cream, nutmeg, butter, cheese& salt and pepper
Bake at 350 F for about 1/2 an hour or until golden on top 

While I did not have all these items on hand, hard to believe eh? I changed things... no hazelnuts, put toasted pecans. Dislike nutmeg, I didn't replace it. I used Romano instead of Parm.

All this aside... I am still in the same damn spot. I've cut the chocolate out. Minimal nuts. Cheese is still divine. Discouraged but okay at the same time. I've eaten some items... snickerdoodles, chips, flour less peanut butter cookies and the cherry on top, 3/4 a container of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Imagine. I believe this is the biggest pig out I've had.

The cookies and ice cream were in one day. While it did go down better than usual, my tastes have changed... for the 'worse', I paid a big price the next day. Bagged. You could have lifted me up and I would have crumbled to the floor. I don't know if it was the sugar but wow, I felt awful. A hangover.  Those damn snickerdoodles.... a simple and hard to NOT eat a couple. 

Where the hell did my will power go? I was going so friggin' well. The letters that pack a punch.... P....M....S.... It's a struggle every month but this month has been the most challenging. Ah well, this too will pass.

Still working on getting out for walks. Twice and a half this week. Hum ha... 

It'll come, it'll come.

Off I go.

Sloth movements

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Plateaus suck. SUCK I say.
I have been eating too much 70% chocolate and cheese. Yesterday I limited my consumption of these two. Still alive and unharmed!
Exercise has increased but not enough. I blame the weather but that's lame. There is something called RAIN GEAR!
On going, on going.
Hum ha.

Oh Crap.

For "shame"... I fell off the wagon and hit my f head. Hell who am I kidding, I jumped off. I was well aware of what I was doing! I will say... there wasn't much guilt. Perhaps I need to reacquaint myself with this force so I behave. Nah, that's cheap and never works.

Well I feel like CRAP. Exactly how, let me tell you...

Sluggish, cranky, wanting my next fix, obsessive, bloated, tired, feeling fat..... blah blah blah (Ke$ha song).... All for WHAT??? Cheap thrills. CHEAP I say. Booze, cake, chips, birds nests (chow mien noodles, marshmallow and Cadbury mini eggs)... Sigh. Pure utter fluff.

As always, I am glad when I slip, although this was a landslide ;[! It solidifies what I know is true for me. It's been 6 months... half a friggin' year! Imagine that. Woot woot! Okay, those of you who are by the books, with the slippin' and sliddin' it's probably 5.2 months? LOL!

With all this, I haven't gained any substantial weight, it fluctuated 5 pounds, which I consider water weight. So that's great however, the bloating, ugh. It feels like I've put it all back on. Wouldn't I be a wreck if I did... for two weeks of slippin'! Phew. I came out of this unscathed, I might not be that lucky next time. Hey there won't BE a NEXT time damn-it.

Okay... here's to re focusing.

Habits

In the past, when stressed, I would turn to alcohol, food or self pity. Well, I may still resort to self pity but my NEED for alcohol and food have subsided. 

When Lucy 'moved' (A's terminology), I didn't want to eat. I am noticing a walk is fulfilling or releasing the negativity. I crave a walk. Unfortunately I don't take advantage of it or the timing isn't right but I try to find another ways, physical ways.

This is a big accomplishment. In the beginning of this change, I still turned to food for comfort. I believe I posted that and it was something I wanted to overcome. Well to a degree I have. It's certainly not perfect but a huge step up. Sigh with a smile.

I am sure it's not the way I am eating that is altering things but I believe an unconscious decision for change of bad habits was made at the same time.

On another note... I still need to tweek my eating. I've hit another rut but will simply read and research a boost. Nature of things...ebb and flow.

Here's to turning 40, and making things better. Cheers!

Hot Diggity Dog!

I went to try on some pants tonight. I thought lets try a size smaller. Guess what? They fit. Hot diggity dog!

The funny thing is... I haven't lost any more weight. I've actually been indulging more than usual... birthdays, a girls night out and some stress. Chips are what I go for. I had two pieces of flourless but sugary cake. GUILT free. But half way through the cake, I could have stopped but didn't. This is a good thing, that I could have stopped. That's new.

I should measure myself again to see how much SPACE I've lost! LOL!

Hot diggity dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's eat CAKE!

It was my mum's birthday celebration today. Guess what I was in charge of... the cake. Of all items eh! I thought should I paleo/primal it? It was very tempting! Being thoughtful and considerate to my elders... What I ended up with was delectable! A Flourless Mocha Torte. So it was in the right direction but it took a sharp turn down with the sugar content! As well as... the type of chocolate I used for the ganache... milk chocolate. (My mother isn't a fan of dark chocolate) Now I could do it again with dark but the sugar is still 'unacceptable'. In addition to the essentials, I made creme anglaise, raspberry sauce and whipped cream. All of which were sugar laden! Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Shame! These tasty extras were a result of me thinking the cake was a bust. As a full package it ended up one of the best cakes I've made!

Of course, I had to try it! It was in the name of scientific research... or a quality test. OMG! I paid for it with a sever sugar rush and crash. Well worth it. Cavewomen HAD to have had SOMETHING they were naughty with, right? BTW... no guilt. Thumbs up!

Now... it's been requested to for my father's birthday next weekend. Today allows me to turn it down next weekend. 

Changing direction...

I am still amazed at the ability to say no thank you and not feel like I ripped myself off.  I mean it and then it's over. Temptation is no longer a part of my eating life!

Another thing, I am not getting that OMG I have to eat feeling if I miss a meal. That urgency in the past would lead to carb overload or something else. 

Well that's all...

Slump.

Well I've hit a wall. And it hurts.
And I got sick. WTF.
Perhaps it's psychological but 4 months already and I want more weight gone.

Whining. I know there are plateaus. The exercise will pay off and has mentally.

Just sharing so if anyone else hits a wall at 4 months, or has, help?

The end.

Clothes

Okay... I've been a lower end PLUS sized gal for several years now, 6 or so to be kinda exact. At first, I was fascinated that ones body can expand but then I wasn't.

Well I am hear to yell,  tell... I am no longer a plus sized girl, clothing wise. My brain is still adjusting.

I went to get some pants. While I didn't really like what I saw in the FULL LENGTH mirror with glaring lights, I liked that what I tried on was SMALLER. They were snug, something I stayed CLEAR, but comfy. I wore those pants today and as I wore them, they stretched and and and felt a bit ...baggy.

Can you say ENCOURAGING!!!!!!!!!!!!? Now that next step... exercise... the one I spoke of a mere 5 days ago!

I did walk the Lucifer twice. Have done the kitchen and waiting around lifts and pushes but it's the cardio I need to make the difference. I need to firm up this loose skin! As well as become stronger and even more balanced.

This week I was unbalanced. PMS (stands for Pretty Much Sycho) and I got sick. It zapped me which is not an excuse but I didn't want to worsen my cold. My class was Saturday and I didn't want to miss it. So this week, back at it.

Lucifer and I have a rhythm started so that makes it easier to want to get out. She is a good trainer too. Her pace is much faster than mine so it bumps it up for me. Good girl. You still annoy me but...

Off to stretch...

Happy New Year!

Resolutions come when we are ready. I was ready almost 4 months ago.

Over the Christmas break, I slipped and paid for it. Eating sugar isn't for me. It's taken 3 weeks to clean out my system. I am not sure I've got it all out. I've felt lethargic, moody, had an upset stomach, headaches and all around BLAH!

Since going back, I've felt more balanced but still don't feel completely there. It'll come.

Some things I noticed while eating more sugar and carbs.... I was hungrier, I had cravings, I would devour... I felt like an addict. Okay that's harsh but... now the 'neediness' has subsided. If I do get hungry, satiating it isn't greedy. I've even simply NOT felt hungry. An new one for moi! A sense of comfort comes with that. My focus can go to something else.

I know what would help me get over that last hump... exercise. This brings me to...


My friend Di initiated an exercise challenge a while back. While I failed to take it on fully, it was a motivator to do the odd sit up, push up and walk. With the New Year here, I sat down to think HOW to incorporate some stuff into what I do. Cook, clean, getting ready etc... I've come up with a starter plan...

TV sit ups, leg lifts and weights
Bed stretches
Sink push ups
Kitchen calf lifts, squats (also while doing hair)
Running up the stairs

There. Easy peasy.

Hopefully this will get me started. Here's to hoping!

Happy New Year!